Category: Uncategorized
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My Struggle and my Strive
Every year around Mother’s Day we transition into what I call my “Struggle and Strive.” I struggle deeply with the day while also striving to make the most/best of it at the same time. Since becoming a mother myself two years ago, the day has morphed into something new for me. Last year the palpable…
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The Price I’ve Paid
In the stillness before bed, when one’s mind should be settling down and preparing for rest, a thousand thoughts flood my mind. I see it, I smell it, I feel it. The very thing that seems to cause others to marvel at with me, it’s my very thorn in the flesh… my memory. It’s almost…
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And that is the most powerful move you’ve made.
You’ve grown into the person who would have protected you as a child… and that is the most powerful move you’ve made. Survivors of childhood abuse often hear people lauding our strength, resiliency, ability to overcome, and the list goes on and on. We hear from them, “if I would have only known when you…
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Confronting the past…
Let’s be real here, I HATE confrontation, with a fiery burning passion do I hate it. But confrontation is necessary at different points in your life. And despite what our internal nervous systems tell us, confrontation (when done correctly) can be healthy. For years and years I wrestled with this scenario whereby I would drive…
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“Babe, why wouldn’t she want this?”
“Babe, why wouldn’t she want this?” A question I tearfully asked my husband in our postpartum room after having our baby over ten weeks ago. There is something inexplicably humbling about giving birth. Labor is quite literally the worst pain anyone can feel physically, at least to me. You spend ten months preparing your body…
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An honest reflection on Mother’s Day
Today has been a mixed bag for me. I woke up to lovely flowers and cards from my husband. I spent some time this morning in our baby’s freshly finished nursery. This is my first Mother’s Day-one in which I am finally a mother. We have been anxiously awaiting the arrive of our long awaited…
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The well meaning people…
You’ve most likely encountered someone, be they “well-meaning” or not, who has a lot of opinions on your healing journey. They may have strong opinions on your choice on contact-whether it is no contact, low contact, or intermittent contact with your abuser. It’s often hard to tackle their comments or opinions because you feel defensive…
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As a daughter, I have forgiven you. As a mother, I will never understand.
I decided to take a much-needed sabbatical the last few of months due to something incredible finally happening in my life, becoming a mother. My husband and I have finally become pregnant, and the last few months have been a whirlwind for us. Between the exhaustion and sickness, coupled with the all-consuming excitement that has…
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What? I don’t have to be around my abuser?
Boundaries are often a hard topic to discuss and an even harder reality to accept. As we enter into adulthood and independence from our parents/abusers, we are often met with well-meaning people trying to guilt us into remaining around the people who hurt us the most. Here’s a reality check for you, no matter what…
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You can both struggle and strive
Have you ever felt like you cannot be happy and also sad at the same time? Or feel there is an inability to grieve and be grateful at the same time? You’re not alone. I have coined a phrase in my own life to cover this, you can both struggle and strive. For example, there…
The Wounded Childhood 